


A Groovy Kind of Love

by Sonny



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Future Fic, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-02-16
Updated: 2004-02-16
Packaged: 2017-10-13 14:25:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/138358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonny/pseuds/Sonny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Look-Into-The-Future Fic... Someone close to Brian and Michael has a question to ask them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!

The core of the Lymon Hall Student Center had been emptying for the last two hours. By Wednesday afternoon, most professors and faculty knew that many of their students would be cutting out of class. On Thursday morning, it was pretty much a solid given that the student population had dwindled to nearly half.

Except the young man who sat occupying the corner of the worn sofa, jotting notes down on his special notebook. His pen was flying fast and furious as he was enjoying the breaking beats, on his CD player, coming out of the earphones latched onto his earlobes.

The last time he'd glanced up, the lounge area had been fairly full for a Thursday afternoon. Now there were only two or three fellow students relaxing just as he was.

But he wasn't relaxed... at all. His features never gave away his underlaying nervousness. His stomach was churning in unbelievable waves of fear and anticipation. The last two hours he'd been waiting. Always patient and waiting. Waiting for something spectacular to happen with his life. He'd come to this wild epiphany late last night as he downloaded some audio files he'd need for a project he'd been working on. The good friend who'd sent them to him was someone who shared a similar passion in music. The mentor had taught him about the simple enjoyment of sounds, lyrics and rhythm, and then the accidental complexities of life that could surround a basic song or melody.

Just last weekend, only four days ago, his world had somehow spiraled out of his control. He had tried very hard to gain some semblance of sanity, but the need to return *home* was even greater then before.

"Yo! Kinney!!" When the person behind the counter of the Student Center's lounge couldn't get a response, a soft squeeze ball was thrown through the air. "Kinney!!"

Gus Kinney caught the bright orange squeeze ball, in his hand, just as the object nearly clocked him in the head. That left his lap open for the canine, chasing his favorite toy, to pounce blissfully. "Ow-ch! Murph! Christ!" Deep, pain-riddled hazel eyes lifted toward the culprit, cracking up behind the desk. "Will... what the fuck?!?" He tugged off one earphone.

Will could barely contain his glee as he used his thumb and pinky to make a motion for a *telephone*. "Phone..." Then came four fingers held up. "... for..." An index finger pointed at Gus. "... you!"

Gus was switching the ball between his hands, playing with the wire-haired Jack Russell Terrier, Murphy, the unofficial mascot of Lymon Hall. Lost in a moment of joy, he suddenly began to realize that he might have been sitting around for nothing, all this time.

Who the hell would...?

The arrangement had been to wait for a phone call, but on his cell phone.

Pushing Murphy down off his lap, Gus unhinged his tall, lethal frame from the sofa, quickly jogging toward the counter.

Will had turned the phone around to face out.

A few wandering female eyes admired the gorgeous young man approaching the counter. They licked their dry lips, biting at them thinking of a chance to envision what an incredible male body like that could be like in bed.

" `Lo!? Kinney here?!"

"Gus?" The voice broke, slightly.

"Michael?" This hadn't exactly been the call Gus had been waiting for. "What are you...?"

There was sniff, probably a clearing of a throat as Michael tried to compose himself. "Shit! I'm sorry. I promised myself I would hold it together, but hearing the sound of your voice, after almost a month... Lord, kid, you sound like your father!"

Gus couldn't help but snicker at the *love* his father and Michael shared. Even after thirty-odd years, their bond and passion for one another was stronger then ever. Where most children were embarrassed to see the romantic, sexual natures of their parents, Gus embraced the idea, relishing every moment he could. "How did you get this number? Why didn't you call me on my cell? Or page me?"

" `Cause, if you hadn't heard, I AM pathetic! Like your father always says. My battery power petered out an hour ago. I haven't bothered to memorize a fuckin' number in fifteen years. Everything is neatly programmed into my address book, on the cell. My briefcase? In luggage limbo, at the moment. Justin, thank God, remembered your mother's number. She referred me here. Said you studied there often. So, while I was waiting for my delayed connecting flight to arrive, I thought I'd reach your father at home. There's no answer. So I called his cell phone... no answer, either. I needed to give him an update on my new arrival info, gate and time..." Michael's flighty voice trailed off as he listened for the overhead mumblings concerning more flight information. "Sorry, Gus."

Gus had closed his eyes, leaning his elbows on the countertop, letting Michael vent in his ear. He was chuckling to himself as the rambling went on. He loved Michael to death. The quirky, adorable habits were a constant reminder of *home* for him. "It's alright." He soothed in a calming voice. "You're lucky you caught me. This being Valentine's Weekend, most kids have left campus. So, pretty much, I'm standin' in a barren wasteland. I do usually study here, but today I'm simply waitin' on a friend to call." Which was true, but not exactly honest. Gus cleared his throat, tucking his right hand under his left armpit. "What's this about... uh, arrival times and gate changes? Don't you have a few more dates on the tour?"

"No..." Michael's voice sounded terrible. He was discovering that he'd let out the first surprise. "I'm... uh, on my way back to Pittsburgh. I'm coming home, Gus."

"Fuck... me!" Gus was too flabbergasted to realize how loud he'd said the words.

Those wandering female eyes looked him over once again.

Gus' weekend plans had been centered around him going home to his father's house. The prospect of Michael not being there had made him rethink, again and again. He had a pretty hefty dilemma to work out. His mother and Melanie were simply out of the question. His father, all by himself, wasn't bad, but if Michael was there... Gus knew they'd be able to think through his problems.

Michael dissolved into easy laughter. So... so much like Brian, his growing son was. He felt a jolt to his heart to recognize an *18 year-old Brian Kinney* channeling through his son. "It was supposed to be a surprise for you kids." He slowly released the pent up air, from the tension, in his lungs. "Big plans for dinner... to celebrate. The last time I talked to your father, I could detect something in his voice. He's keeping something important from me. Plus, I just... I kind of... Man! I fuckin' miss my family like crazy! I don't care how *wack* that makes me sound, but to me... home IS where my heart is!!"

Michael and Justin had been on a three week tour for RAGE over in a few European countries.

Gus covered his eyes, blocking them from view. Those endearing qualities he adored and admired about Michael would never disappear. "I've missed you, too. I try to go back home, as much as I can, but it's such a madhouse there. With school and work, I can't help as often as I want. From what I can see, Pop isn't the only one who's freakin' out. The last two weeks, Hayley's refused to stay at home. If you're not there, she stays for a bit, makes sure the other kids are settled, then beats it to Mom and Mel's. I talked to Hayley and Pop says the same thing that Oliver seems to be reverting back to the silent treatment. But he's awfully clingy to Pop, like his little shadow. And Erica... well, she hasn't stopped screaming at Pop. They simply keep buttin' heads over every little thing." He didn't know if he should be leaking this much confidential information over the phone to Michael. But Gus wasn't sure he liked Michael to be shocked what he could be walking in on. "Why didn't Pop make this a family vacation like you wanted?"

"Shit! I would have killed for you all to have been here with me. But your father didn't want to bother me or Justin. Our creative flow or whatever the fuck! But it would have been perfect since it looks like Justin probably won't make it back to the States until the summer. He really wants to see you and the other kids, but he's got an excellent opportunity out here to make his paintings reach a good market." There was another overhead page sounding in the background. "Look, I don't mean to rush this, but I need to check the board for my flight. Since I can't seem to reach your father, can you jot this stuff down? Call him later, when he's come back to Earth..."

Gus motioned to Will to hand him a pen and paper. "Go ahead, Michael, but I was thinking of coming home this weekend, too. I could pick you up, if I can't get a hold of Pop. Something tells me he could be busy right now." He wrote down the information on the paper.

"Son, didn't you just tell me you were waiting for a phone call? I don't want to inconvenience you."

That was the problem with Brian Kinney and Michael Novotny. They were too fuckin' nice to ask for help. Too stubborn and independent. Even if they were penniless and injured, on the side of the road, with a flat tire... they'd do everything they could to work out their own problems before askin' for handouts. Sometimes Gus wished they would act selfish, taking some pleasure for themselves, once and awhile.

"Michael, you're NOT an inconvenience... you're my family. I love you." Gus didn't care who heard him in the emptying room.

Gus had forgotten he'd never released the bright orange squeeze ball. Murphy was sitting by his right foot, soft growling under his heavily panting breath. He threw the ball down to bounce off the hardwood flooring, not paying any attention to how the force of his throw would make it bounce in the direction of his female admirers. They squealed in fright at the energetic dog pouncing on their spread-eagled work areas.

Will winked at Gus, thanking him for giving him a sweet intro to meeting new women on campus. He swung off the countertop to rescue his damsels in distress. "Murph! Heel! Bad Doggie!!"

On the other end, Michael sucked in a sharp breath. Sometimes Gus was able to set him on his ass with the things that came out of his mouth. "I love you, too, son. It's fuckin' heaven to hear your voice. I can't wait to see you when I get home." It was sounding like he was prepared to end the conversation when he wondered about a few things. "Gus... is, uh, everything okay with you? I've heard about everyone else, but you. I hope you know you're not excluded in my prayers at night. Grades good? Classes going well? Making friends? All that stupid college shit workin' on your last nerve?"

Gus cracked up in laughter. "You know it. I've had three offers to join some fraternities around here, but I refused to cow-tow myself to anyone's rules. I got some cool people I hang with. We hang, go to parties off campus. No one I'd truly die for, though."

 __

 _**Except one**_

 __

, Gus closed his eyes as the vision of one of his best friends popped into his head.

 __

 _**There is one person I would consider sacrificing a whole hell of a lot for.**_

 __

Michael cleared his throat. He knew he'd been keeping Gus on the phone too long. "If anything changes again, I'll call your cell. Okay?"

"Sounds great. I'll see you soon."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Gus hung up the extension. He turned, hearing the slight jangle of the dog collar approach him.

Murphy had the orange squeeze ball in his mouth, plopped it down at Gus' feet.

"W'asa matter, Murph? Will no fun??" Gus lifted his head to see Will chatting it up with the two pretty girls on one of the other sofas that lined the lounge area. He shook his head at how some of his fellow schoolmates flirted with the opposite sex. That kind of scene wasn't for him. His cell phone began to vibrate in his pocket. He reached in to pick up the call. " `Lo. Kinney here."

"Gus?" This voice was familiar to him.

Gus' heart picked up a quick pace. "Bates? Uh... I've been waiting for your call. Like you wanted me to." There was a long pause of silence between their lines. "Five fuckin' years of friendship... and NOW you got nothin' to say to me?"

There was a slight snicker. "I'm not the only one not doin' any talkin', Kinney. By the way, I left campus early this morning. I'm home right now. I don't think I'll be back until late Monday or maybe not even until Tuesday."

Gus paced back over toward the sofa he'd been sitting on, easing back into his sitting position. "So, you're not even allowing us a chance to talk? Bates... I'm not sure that's a good thing. I thought we could discuss anything. Suddenly you sound all jittery around me. Can't be that bad. I'm not an evil guy."

"You've just been dumped, Gus. By the... uh, what did you say... the Love of Your Life. What the fuck am I supposed to do, huh? Pet your head? Tell you everything is gonna be alright? What the fuck am I, except convenient?"

Gus leaned his head back, closing his eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose, just like his father was known to do. "Bates... I'm sorry. This is NOT the way I wanted our next conversation to go. I wanted..."

"If you're expecting me to confess undying *love* for you Gus Kinney... you are fuckin' certifiable! You know how I am about relationships in my life. Commitment is something I avoid, like the plague. You know damn well why! You swore to me that you'd never feel THAT way about me. You... swore!"

"Bates, I didn't..." Gus swallowed with difficulty. There were so many things he wanted to say. None of them were making it out of his mouth yet. "You caught me at a vulnerable moment last night. I didn't mean to take it as far as I did. It's okay if you feel like hating me. I hate myself enough for the both of us. Christ!"

"What?"

"I need to shut up. I feel like I'm talking backwards. It's good that you're not here. That you're off campus. I'm on my way home, too. Michael's coming home."

The voice became sweet and kind. "Oh, Gus... that's so great. I know you've been missing him and... I think... I think you need to talk to him right now. More then ever. And your Dad, too. You need to talk this over with them both. Make sure you're not... tricking yourself into wanting what you already have. You need to be sure if your dream career has a chance of being real. And that someone you love, who loves you, can be by your side... who you really want, more then anything in the world."

"What if that *someone* happens to be YOU, Bates?"

There was a small chuckle as the voice began too soft. "Don't turn on that Kinney charm for me, Gus. I can see right through your bullshit!"

"It's not bullshit! But it's one of your more redeeming qualities that I love about you."

"Don't do that, Gus!"

"Do what?" Gus had to laugh at how the voice sounded embarrassed by the simple admission.

"Loosely throw the word *love* around like that. You say it, you have to mean it."

"All these years together, Bates, should have shown you how I don't mince words like that around just for fun."

"I need time, too. I want to be sure if this is what I want."

"You're not sure if ***I*** am what you want." Gus corrected emphatically.

"Don't put words in my mouth, Gus."

"I know you, Bates. Inside and out. I know your dreams and your fantasies. I know your past and what you want for your future. I know what flavor of ice cream you like. I know about your stuffed animal collection you still hang onto from your childhood. You've let me read your journals... all your writing... your poetry. You've invited me into your life and... I wish to hell I hadn't been so blind to what was obviously right under my nose."

"Gus... don't do this right now. Don't say something we'll both regret later."

"I'll never regret having you in my life. Ever. You're my best friend. My right hand man. My..." Gus couldn't help but picture his father and Michael when he said words like this. Was this how they felt about one another?

Christ! It had taken nearly twenty years for his father and Michael to come to their senses! What were the chances for him and Bates?

From the other line, it had sounded like the voice tried to hold back tears. "I have to go. I'll call you when I get back." The line clicked off.

Gus got quiet. His heart still beat frantically as he looked down at his phone. "You're my everything."

The jangle of the dog collar could be heard as Murphy climbed to the coffee table surface in front of Gus. His head turned slightly, the orange ball in his mouth.

Gus stared those cute puppy eyes down, fiercely. Wondering why the dog was so determined to get HIM to play? There were plenty of other people to bother. Couldn't Murphy *see* he was busy feeling ashamed of himself?

Then it hit Gus, like a lightning bolt.

Dogs weren't known for their cleverness, but with the proper training they could be shown as highly skilled mammals.

Strange how Gus could equate Murphy's need to *play* with the need to make his own difficult decision.

Murphy had one goal in mind. Play with his orange ball. Will wasn't a very good master or ball thrower. Gus had done some cool tricks with Murphy and had fun running about the lounge area, tuckering himself out. So, between the choice of Gus or Will, Murphy wanted Gus. No matter HOW Gus felt at the moment, Murphy was determined to *play* with him and his orange ball.

End of story. No infringements. No feelings hurt. Just a simple decision.

Sitting forward in his seat, Gus yanked the ball out of Murphy's mouth. "Good Dog!!" He grabbed the sides of Murphy's plush head and pressed a foolish kiss on his dog snout. He added the kicker of throwing the ball hard on the floor, then watching Murphy go bonkers trying to discover where it would land.

Gus had already made his decision. He knew what, and who, he wanted. It was simply knowing what kind of playing field he had to work with. His spastic talk with Bates a few minutes ago was a good sign. They both still cared for each other, but they had both been thrown for a loop. He didn't want to let things lay between them, unfinished like this. That's why he felt the need to talk with Michael and his father.

Hopefully they could shed some insight on how to go about telling your best friend you've been in love with them for... possibly longer then you were even aware of.

Gus looked at his watch. He had a good five minutes to kill before he should head off campus in the direction of home.

Murphy deserved the playtime for all of his help.

******************************************

Gus pulled up to the sidewalk, parking his car in front of his childhood home. Which oddly had been Michael Novotny's childhood home, but through years of reconstruction and renovations. He spotted the family car in the driveway, telling him that his father was inside. It was still early enough in the afternoon, around three, for the other kids to still be in school. That was perfect. He could talk to his father without anyone listening.

He yanked out his duffel bag from the back seat, slinging it over his shoulder to carry inside. He jangled his key ring in one hand to find the front door key. He walked across the front lawn and sidewalk, climbing the porch steps. He set his bag down, recalling how sometimes the door would stick. You needed a good shove in order to enter.

With one gentle push, the paneling opened with ease. Wow! Something had actually achieved *fixing status*, instead of getting set aside. Someone must have gotten bored, or tired of the warped wood never shutting properly. Gus picked up his duffel bag, crossing the threshold into the warm, inviting atmosphere.

Granted, he couldn't stand being home for long periods of time, but whenever he returned after being away for awhile, coming home was an aching, painful process. Guilt was sure to follow.

"H'Lo! Is anybody...?" Gus had widened his mouth to yell through the empty halls. He stopped once he caught sight of a familiar head, resting on the back of the couch cushions.

The full head of raven curls gave an indication that Oliver Abraham Peterson Novotny was relaxing in the living room. The baby of the family at six-years-old. Michael and Lindsay's son.

Gus approached his brother with a wary step.

Oliver had felt the draft of cool air upon the door being opened. He was in the middle of enjoying the music, from his portable Mp3 player and playing his handheld digital video game. He thought one of his sisters had come home. Since they had their own lives to lead, seeing no importance in a six-year-old's problems, he didn't bother them much. They liked taking care of him and he let them pamper him like two little mothers. He spared a glance over his shoulder, just to keep a running tab on which sister had come home first.

Gus was standing, slightly off to the far right, making sure he could be seen. He wiggled his fingers at Oliver.

The young child's face lit up like his father's usually did. Like whenever Michael talked about the three most important things in his life. The kids, comics and Brian Kinney. No one could dispute Oliver looked like his father, except he had his mother's eyes. A deeper, dark brown, nearly black.

"Hey, Bro-ham!" Gus sparkled his smile at his kid brother, opening his arms wide for the embrace he knew would soon follow.

Oliver was shocked, but excited to see his cool, older brother. No one had told him Gus would be coming home. "Gus!" The name was whispered past normally quiet lips. He jumped up on the couch cushions, oblivious to the destruction he was making to the pristine material. He hopped over to reach across the back of the furniture to wrap his arms around the thick muscular neck, leaning down toward him. Gus wanted to pick him up, but Oliver resisted. He was too mature for childish antics.

Gus was perplexed by the toughness that made Oliver resist being lifted. The child usually liked being held close in someone's arms. What had happened? "Oof! What are they feedin' you, Ollie!" He tried to play off the awkwardness. "Pretty soon you'll be taller, and stronger, then me!" As he pulled away, Gus could feel the desperation behind Oliver's grip. The little kiss pressed to his cheek made him feel more guilt for avoiding doing this a long time ago. He should have come home sooner.

Oliver was the one who pulled back, his small palms grasping Gus' biceps. His dark eyebrows frowned in worry. His eyes conveyed a simple question asking, _**What's wrong?**_

Gus had developed a sixth sense with Oliver. No words were ever needed. "Nothin's wrong that can't be fixed, Ollie. Thanks for askin'." He rubbed the child's back in a soothing manner. He shrugged one shoulder. "Plus, I thought it was time to show my ugly mug around here. Kick a few of your lazy butts into gear." That answer seemed to appease for a short time.

Oliver hooked his arm around Gus' neck, leaning his tiny body close to his brother's warm, solid frame. His eyes closed in quiet bliss.

Gus reached a hand up to ruffle the raven curls. "I know, bud. I missed you, too. I'm here now. I promise not to be away that long again." The pale forehead leaned forward, banging into Gus' jaw. "Dad will be home soon, right? Then we'll all be a *family* again."

Oliver patted Gus' forearm around his waist, telling his older brother that he understood about having his own life to lead. Not to worry about his boring, pathetic six-year-old life here at home.

Gus lifted his eyes to gaze about the rest of the house. It was too quiet. "Where is everyone?"

Oliver shook his head, saying that the Sisters weren't home, yet.

Gus raised his brow in wonder. "No one, but you and Pop...?"

Oliver shook his brother's shoulder, pointing off toward the old recliner that had seen better days.

A calico cat lay, asleep, curled into it's body. Brian had adopted the stray animal a few years ago when he found the cat sleeping in his old loft space, harboring her little family of kittens in his closet. He'd been meaning to sell the property once the Novotny house renovations had been complete, but the cat forced him to keep the loft. Then Brian simply grew lazy about contacting a real estate agent. The cat moved into the new home like she'd been there forever. Brian Kinney didn't seem like a *cat* type. Hell, even a *pet* type, but often times it was a wonder who *owned* who. Brian had named the cat something awful that Michael was embarrassed to have the kids mention in front of their grandparents. Gus was the only one who knew the cat's real name.

*Muncher* quickly became *Munie*... and Michael could breathe a sigh of relief.

Brian was the only one who could actually get away with calling the cat by her real name. She was possessive of her... uh, owner? She took care of him well. Quietly watched the kids for him while he slept peacefully whenever he was tired. No one knew her true age, but she had been around since Brian and Lindsay's daughter, Erica, had been born. Erica was turning thirteen this year.

Then Oliver pointed to the ceiling above, indicating that the other occupants of the house were upstairs. He let his brother go, plopping down to sit back on the couch. He couldn't wipe the stupid, goofy grin off his face. There was still a bit of sadness around his heart. Brian could handle being a father well enough, but there were times Oliver needed his own father something fierce. Needing his warm, soothing hands, his comforting arms and his open heart to listen to every foolish feeling he had as the baby of the family. His eyes swam with tears as he watched Gus climb the stairs, two at a time.

Once Gus reached the top of the second floor, he quickly wiped under his own eyes. He didn't want his father to think ill of him. He headed toward the door at the end of the hallway, where his father and Michael's bedroom sat. He knocked once. "Pop?!" No response. Strange. Opening the door, Gus felt along the wall to turn on the lights. "Pop?" He looked everywhere in the bedroom and bathroom. There was absolutely no sign of him.

Walking back out in the hall, Gus faced the other three doors that told of the children's bedrooms. Lord! Where would his father have gone?

Each door panel signaled who occupied the space inside.

Hayley's door was girlish, pink and littered with photos and mementos of her close knit group of friends.

Oliver's had a large door-size version of RAGE's perfect form. Over the years, periodically, someone would randomly stick other well-known super hero's pictures over RAGE. No one fessed up to the vandalism, but most thought Brian had a hand behind the crimes, unable to view his animated image staring at him constantly every morning.

Erica's bedroom door had road signs and highway signs tacked all over. The main one saying *KEEP OUT*. Others told of *hazardous waste*, *no parking* and that business hours were from 8am-4pm, Mon-Thurs, 8am-6pm, Fri-Sat and Closed, Sunday. They were actual metal signs that Erica and her *so-called* friends probably stole when the adults weren't looking.

Gus figured that his father was an avid glutton for punishment. Just because the sign said *Keep Out* that didn't deter Brian Kinney from entering his daughter's private sanctuary. Especially if there was a load of laundry to put away.

Gus twisted the knob in his hand, slowly creaking the door open. "Pop?"

The muffled sound of a bark was made with the soft jangle of a dog collar.

Gus bent to greet the family dog on his knees. "Hey there, Kat."

It had been both Michael and Brian's fault in the name choice of the mongrel. The poor animal wasn't cute like most dog breeds. The blending of his bloodline gave him his own character, but he was loyal to the family that had adopted him. Calling a dog *Kat* seemed ridiculously cruel, but Gus had understood it as the kind of warped humor his father and Michael enjoyed teasing the world with. Their own inside joke only they could understand. That's why they gave in and changed the *C* to a *K*. The dog still came when you called him, he didn't care how it was spelled.

Gus rubbed the underside of the dog's ears, pressing a kiss to the soft fur on the long snout. "Show me where Pop is, boy?" He chuckled to himself, like he was treating Kat like Lassie. He already knew. He could see the long limbs dangling off the end of the twin bed.

Erica's bed was littered with folded laundry, stacked in neat piles. It looked ready to be put away, except Brian had crawled under his daughter's light crocheted throw to fall sleep, dead to the world. No wonder he didn't answer his cell phone when Michael had tried to call. That also explained why the home phone hadn't been answer, as well.

Gus stood to his gangly height, trying to quietly walk toward the peaceful form under the thin, yellow blanket. He had to snicker to himself.

From under the intricate stitching popped the spiked mahogany hair-slightly riddled with gray locks. Brian had buried his face under the hem, attempting to block out all light.

Gus approached shaking the tip of his father's shoe. "Pop?" Nothing. Not even a stir. "Pop." Gus trailed his hand over the long leg, tracing the hip underneath, giving one solid motion to wake the body up. Damn! He WAS deeply asleep! Taking a few seconds to stare, Gus noticed the flush tinge to the pale cheeks, the dark circles under the eyes. He sighed heavily, feeling the tears well up like before. He butted his backside to sit behind his father's curled form.

His left hand was pressed palm to the mattress, balancing himself. Gus leaned down to pull the material of the blanket, exposing his father's face fully.

After all those years of worrying over looking so young at thirty, Brian Kinney had matured gracefully into his forties, and soon he would be approaching his fifties. Gus wanted to know how his father did it. He didn't believe the claim that having Michael Novotny in his life made him look so young and beautiful. It couldn't be true. It had to be the genes... and not the 501 kind.

He tentatively reached out his right hand to brush his fingers through his father's mussed hair. He had only seen his father comb his hair two maybe three times in his eighteen years of life. Brian Kinney *made* the disheveled bed-head look his own. The backs of his fingers trailed down the pink glowing skin of the flushed cheek. Funny how Gus couldn't help but touch his father so freely while laying asleep, but clam up when his father was awake, aware of his son's adoring admiration. His father would probably puke at the sight of this kind of sentimentality.

Brian Kinney didn't let many people this close to his body, even his own children. Michael was normally the only one who could do this kind of thing and get away with it. And Lindsay, too, but only whenever she buttered Brian up a bit, stroking his ego like she knew he craved.

Gus couldn't help but sense his body reverting back to when he was younger. Wanting to crawl into his father's stoic, reserved embrace, knocking down those walls of suppressed love and tender care. His father didn't let down his guard with just anyone. He had to be sure his heart was in your safekeeping. Gus had learned the hard way how to be around his father. Had many private conversations with Michael about his grandfather, Jack Kinney.

Leaning his head down on his father's biceps, Gus shut his eyes, taking in a deep breath. He was *home*. "Come on, Pop. Open your eyes for me."

Finally, the body stirred beneath Gus' ear. Brian turned his body on his back to find his oldest child's head moving to lay over his right upper chest. The similar mahogany locks, like his own, coupled with the slight blond streaks of his mother's, made Gus Kinney's look all that more striking. "Gus?" The muscular arms that had been tucked under the thin cover, close to his body, broke out to hold his precious son close. His thin fingers went to comb through the long hair that nearly reached Gus' collarbone. "What the fuck are you doin' here?"

Gus couldn't help it. He wouldn't have expected any less of a welcome from his father with as much fervor and strong language. He snickered through his tears. "Love you, too, Pop." Gus lifted his head, leaning in to kiss his father's cheek. He felt the warm fingers trail over his face.

Happy, tear-filled hazel eyes stared into worried, weary hazel eyes.

"Are you okay?"

Gus shrugged his shoulders. "Can't a son come home to lick his wounds?"

"Shit! You got dumped! And near Valentine's! That's fucked!"

Gus chuckled as he crawled over his father's prone form to lay on the other side of the twin mattress. They managed to stand the fact that their bodies kind of meshed, forgoing the manly distance needed to remain *butch*. "Thanks, Pop. I needed to hear that."

Brian rearranged his body, pulling up the yellow blanket to cover Gus. "I'm not Michael, but I know when life can kick you in the ass, hard. Story of my fuckin' life." He shook his head at recalling his own history. He had leaked a few random things out to Gus as he'd grown up.

Gus felt the ache in his heart increase as he looked at his father closely, for once. "I'm sorry." He hung his head in shame.

Brian watched his son's head fall toward his chest. He reached out to rub at the back of his hair, pressing a kiss to the top. "What the hell are you apologizing for, Gus? You have your own responsibilities to take care of." He choked on his next words, knowing he would have killed himself to hear these words from Jack. "I'm so proud of you, son. Your coming into your own manhood. You've made a path for yourself that I had to fight my way for at your age."

Gus sniffed through his sobs. "You had Michael to get through the shitty moments, Pop. And I don't think you should knock your efforts. You made it out alive, with your sanity intact."

Brian snickered as he felt Gus burrow around him, like when he was little. Something else was wrong. Something involving Gus' feelings and emotions. Brian didn't know if he could deal with that right now, without Michael here. "Michael!" His body tightened in tension. "Shit!" He held Gus away from him. "Did Michael leave any messages on the machine for me?"

Gus shook his head, seeing the unneeded distress enter his father's body. "Pop... Michael called me. At school. When he couldn't reach you." He saw their roles reversing, their bodies shifting on the twin bed.

"Fuck!" Brian buried his shame in Gus' chest. "Don't ever trust me with your life Gus. I can't even manage my own, much less Hayley's, Erica's and Oliver's. Christ! I gotta get a shower." He tugged out from under the yellow blanket, throwing it completely over Gus. "Shit! I didn't put away any of Erica's laundry. She's gonna be pissed I was even in here. And Hayley... man, she wanted me to make those bars for her to bring to her school thing tonight. Fuck, I haven't even started supper..." Sitting on the side of the small bed, Brian raised his eyes to the dog's sympathetic brown ones. His fingers shaking at the dog, he stopped the approach to his body. "Don't you start with me, too. I got enough on my shoulder. You dumb mutt!"

Kat didn't take offense. His eyes were trained on Brian as he pushed off the mattress. His eyes were too watchful.

Gus caught the concentrated look from the dog, then thanked God he paid close attention, because as Gus crawled off the bed... his father faltered on his feet.

Kat barked once, using his head to rest under Brian's hand as a balance.

Gus quickly moved to grab his father's biceps to steady him. "Whoa! You alright, Pop?"

"Fine. I... uh, got up too soon. Feeling a little lightheaded." Brian shook his head to clear his foggy mind. He had to change the subject. He felt like barfing on the spot. He tried to swallow and gain his equilibrium. "When is Michael's flight arriving?"

"Pop, come on. You can barely stand on your own two feet. I can pick Michael up. Why don't you just go to bed, in your own bedroom. Forget the shower, I don't want you slipping and falling on the tile." Gus felt his father draw away from him, trying to stand tall and act stronger then he looked. "It's just me, Pop. I'm here. I'll take care of things."

Brian chuckled, rubbing the stubbled skin of his son's face. "This unkempt thing is a sexy look for you, kid. I bet you have them chasing after you in droves."

Gus blushed as he hefted a shoulder under his father's arm. "Yeah, well... there's only one that I want... but... well, I don't know. I think I may have blown it."

As father and son made it down the hallway, at a slow even pace, Brian patted Gus' chest. "If it's one thing Michael has taught me is that if it's worth it, the struggle is half the battle." Pausing at the master bedroom door, Brian leaning on the wood paneling. "Is it worth it, Gus?"

"Yes." Gus was shocked he'd been able to say the answer so fast, without any qualms.

"Then I guess it isn't such a fucked up thing that you were dumped. Sounds like Lady Luck reared her ugly head just in time." Brian strolled easily into his bedroom. He was a pure artist of carnal knowledge and activities. This was his domain, even in domesticality.

"I don't know if I can take much more luck, Pop." Gus knew he didn't have to stay, but something niggled in him to keep a close eye on his father. Make sure he went to bed and fell back asleep. He leaned on the door, his arms crossed over his chest.

Kat sat just outside the door, his eyes darting all over the room.

Brian undressed down to his undershorts. He moved to a tall dresser near the walk-in closet he shared with Michael. He opened one drawer to pull out a folded pair of sweats. He put them on. He wandered to a shorter dresser, opening and closing drawers as if he was looking for something specific. He found what he wanted, keeping the item out of Gus' sight. "I don't know if it's actually luck, Gus... or if it can be called *fate*."

"You mean like it was supposed to happen?" Gus knew his father was hiding the t-shirt from him.

"Stranger things have, you know?" Brian turned off his bedside lamp, crawling under the cool covers that hadn't been warm for weeks. Except when he allowed Oliver to sleep with him, on Michael's side of the bed. He put the t-shirt on, keeping the logo from Gus' view.

Gus pushed off from the door, heading toward the king-sized mattress. It was kind of sweet to tuck his father in the bed. He made sure all the covers and comforter shaped the tall form underneath. Gus caught sight of the threadbare Captain Astro t-shirt his father had picked to wear as his pajama top to the sweat pants.

Brian had been relaxing on his left side when he rolled over, slightly, to ask Gus a question. "Did he seemed ticked off to you?"

"Who?" Gus pulled the covers up to his father's shoulder. "Michael? Well, pissed to be delayed for so long at the airport, but not about us."

"You kids, you mean. He didn't say anything about ME?"

"If he was angry at you?"

Brian wasn't hearing what he wanted to hear. "Never mind. Forget I asked."

Gus knew what his father wanted to hear. He chuckled at how whipped Brian Kinney had become under Michael Novotny's thumb. He ruffled his father's hair, pressing a kiss to the sweating forehead. "You know he loves you, Pop. He doesn't have to say it every single time."

"Sometimes, Gus... it's nice to be reminded..." Brian grumbled as he buried his face further under the covers. His hand reached out to grab Michael's pillow, pulling it to his chest. "Tell that little asshole... should he remember who's been taking care of family, hearth and home... that I love him, too."

Gus chuckled lightly. He took a step back to walk out of the bedroom when he nearly tripped over Kat. "Hey, boy." He had to reach out to steady himself on the night stand, almost knocking over some prescription bottles. He caught them in his hand before they made a sound. He stopped, his mouth gaping open. Oh... shit!

Hazel eyes zeroed in on the names. His father was back on the chemotherapy drugs. Fuck! No wonder he'd been so exhausted and weary, listless. Gus looked down at Kat, wishing that the dog could speak to him, but the eyes alone conveyed enough information to say this had been going on longer then simply a month since Michael left.

Gus quietly exited the master bedroom, giving his father the much needed time off. He wondered if any of the other kids knew, or had some sixth sense about what might be going on. He hoped they did know. Not for the tragedy of it all, but to learn a harsh lesson about forgiveness, not sweating the small stuff and hanging on to what, and who, was important.  Grabbing hold of the knob in his nervous, perspiring hand, Gus patted his thigh. "Come on, boy!" He let his father sleep in peace, shutting the door softly.

As Gus made his way back downstairs, he wondered if Michael was even aware of what Brian Kinney was suffering through while he'd been away. Was THIS the *something* that Michael felt Brian was keeping from him, every time they talked on the phone?

  
~~TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

 

"Ollie! I'm home!" Hayley Grace Marcus Novotny yelled out in the front foyer as she shucked off her warm jacket. "Dad!?" She shrugged her shoulder at the usual non-response. Melanie and Michael's daughter looked every bit like her parent's. 

"In the kitchen, Hayley!" Gus called back. He was handing off things for Oliver to help with fixing supper, buttering the garlic bread.

Hayley's eyes were shocked into happiness. "Oh. My Gawd! Gus?!" She practically ran all the way into the kitchen, knowing that open arms would be held wide for her.

Gus spun his sister around in his arms, setting her down on the floor. "Good God! Look at you!" He shaped her head in his hands. Her long, raven black hair was braided behind her, hanging halfway down her back. Her chocolate brown eyes were so like Michael's, Gus had to swallow heavily. "What are you... twenty? How's the husband? Kids doin' okay?"

Hayley slapped her brother's biceps. "Sixteen, Gus!" She wandered over to Oliver. She ruffled his curls, placing a kiss on top. "Hey, munchkin. How was your day?" Oliver just leaned into his sister's one armed embrace in answer. She came over to wash her hands in the sink. "So what do we owe this visit?" She knew Gus rarely came home anymore to simply visit.

Gus ventured back to the stove top, where he was making Grandma Novotny's famous pasta Marinara sauce. "Man, can't a guy come home?"

Hayley picked up the thick towel to dry her hands. "Where's Dad?" Her hands went on her hips like Grandma Novotny's usually would whenever she wanted the truth to be told. Hayley was in her *Little Momma* mode.

"Sleeping upstairs. Why?"

Hayley's eyes looked around for the bars she'd asked Dad to bake for her. She sighed heavily shaking her head. She didn't know why he kept forgetting to do simple things she asked him to. Maybe he wasn't alright with her living with her mother while Michael was gone. He could be repressing anger at her for her abandoning him to the other kids. She simply couldn't bear the house feeling so empty without her father there. Dad was cool, but he tended to hibernate and get cranky. That's when he and Erica would go at each other's throats. Hayley couldn't bear that much animosity being shown to a parent. She loved her sister, Erica, to death, but sometimes she could just... Dad was no better, acting just as childish as his own daughter. "No reason."

Gus let out a small smirk, knowing what Hayley had been truly asking about. "Oh, by the way... those bars you needed. They're in the oven, keeping warm. I went downstairs, in the basement, to get the Pyrex container to carry them in." He gestured to a long pan sitting in the hot water in the sink. "It was kind of caked with dust. So I'm letting it soak." He watched Hayley bite her bottom lip to keep from crying. He rubbed her shoulder. "What time do you have to be there?" He soothed her back muscles, brushing back a lock of black hair that had escaped the confines of the hair pins.

Hayley sniffed, shaking her head to refuse Gus' offer to drive her. "One of the girl's mothers is picking us all up. She's kind of chaperoning the whole deal. I would've asked Dad, but he seemed a bit preoccupied." She crossed her arms over her growing bosom. She couldn't help but stare down at her shoes, playing with the tile design at her feet. "I miss him like crazy, Gus. I wish Daddy would come home." She could barely get the words out. She loved her father with a fierceness that knew no bounds.

They weren't just father and daughter, they were best friends. And Hayley hadn't seen her *best friend* in weeks, when she really needed him the most. Dad tried to help as best he could, but his enthusiasm was lost, somewhere. Like his interest in her, not simply her problems, was waning. That was one of the other reasons for her choosing not to sleep at the house, picking her mother and Lindsay's home.

"I know, Hay-Bear." Gus put a hand behind Hayley's head, pulling her close into his embrace. He felt her arms surround his waist, in a death grip. "I need to talk to you later. But, right now, can I ask you to help me put away the rest of the laundry? There's Erica's on her bed... and I'm finishing up the last load right now."

"Sure. Anything. This is what I usually do when I come home." Hayley sniffed out her laughter.

"Before you run back to Mom's?" Gus simply stated.

Oliver's eyes picked up the slight tension that might be brewing. This was weird for his two older siblings to be upset with one another

Hayley wasn't sure how she should take the comment. "I do what I can, Gus, before I lose control of my emotions. This house isn't easy to live in with Daddy gone." She shrugged her shoulders, ready to head upstairs. "But I guess it's easy to make random observations when you don't live here every day, in the thick of it." She turned on her foot to run upstairs, away from Gus' approach.

"Hey!" Gus chased after his sister. He caught her hand on the oak banister. "Hayley, I'm not complaining about how you've handled things while Michael's been away. There's no one I trust more then you, when I'm at school. I'm just saying... Pop's a difficult man to get close to."

"I know, Gus. But what you seem to forget is that Dad and I used to be inseparable. Somewhere along the way... I don't know, I lost him." She pulled away from Gus' touch. "He doesn't hug me like he used to. He doesn't kiss me like he used to. Sometimes I don't think he loves me like he used to. He takes advantage that I'm here. He slips away from taking care of Oliver and, I don't know where he goes. He can still be home, but NOT here, here." She tapped her forehead. "If you know what I mean."

Gus hung his head, knowing that Brian Kinney tended to ruin many relationships out of his own doing. He had to struggle an awful lot to bring them to the point of where they were today as father and son. Everything Hayley was saying was probably true, though his father would adamantly deny it all. If only Hayley sat down to listen, maybe she'd understand a bit more about Brian Kinney and the Great Mystique. Instead of taking all the guilt on her own shoulders. "There's things in Pop's past that you might be unable to grasp, Honey. Reasons he feels scared to get too close to people. You don't have to forgive him, if you're that hurt. You simply have to understand where he's coming from."

Hayley shrugged her shoulders. "You and Daddy seem to know him through and through. Can't be that hard, right?" She let out a slight smirk, showing that there was a bit of Michael always in her personality, when it came to Brian Kinney. She was teasing. "Don't worry, Gus. I still love Dad, even though his feelings for me have changed."

"Honey, they haven't. I swear."

Hayley wanted to believe her brother, so badly. It was hard when the person they were talking about couldn't stand the sight of her. "Okay. I'll try to understand, but I don't know how much I can. If Daddy doesn't come home soon, I might move back to Mom and Lindsay's permanently."

"Please don't, Hayley. Talk to him. As much as your head is telling you what you *think* he feels. I can promise you, it's not as bad as you're thinking."

Hayley was losing herself in those intoxicating hazel eyes she adored. She couldn't recall the last time she and Dad faced one another. Like they had both simply agreed to keep this distance afloat until Michael could come home and fix what was breaking between them. She was willing to take some responsibility.

Why did making these difficult decisions seem so much easier when the family finally decided to come together?

"I'll go put away Erica's things now. Did Dad just fall asleep?" Hayley spared a glance toward the closed bedroom door.

Gus looked at his watch, realizing it was getting closer to Michael's flight arrival time. No return phone call had told of anything changing. "About two hours ago, but I'm sure he won't mind you waking him if you want to talk." He shrugged his shoulders. "Or you could wait until after supper."

"Why? What's happening after supper?"

"Nothing." Gus raised his hopeful eyes toward his sister. "Can I ask you to do a favor for me?"

"Sure, within reason." Another teasing grin slipped out.

"Stay home tonight. At least until you and Pop have talked. It's gonna be Valentine's Day soon and I can't see this house being all balled up in tension like this during the holiday. I only come home, every so often. I'd like to have everybody here."

"But *everybody's* not here, Gus." Hayley let out a sad smile as she bounded up the stairs, wanting to sob her eyes out in secret.

Gus shook his head at how stubborn Hayley could be. "Hayley!" She paused on the top step, on her way toward Erica's bedroom. "I need to step out for a about an hour and a half, or so. Can you watch the kids for me while Pop sleeps? Erica should be home soon from ball practice. She said something about bringing Abby with her."

Hayley nodded her head, not able to look back at her brother. She quietly shut herself inside Erica's room.

Gus bowed his head, covering his face with his hands. Fuck! This was gonna be a whopper of a dilemma to fix. And he didn't even know if his problem was that important, now. He REALLY should have come home sooner.

Oliver gave Gus a sympathetic glance when he returned to take care of the boiling pots on the stove.

Welcome Home, huh?

Oliver moved to put back the rest of the butter, in the fridge, picking out the series of vegetables to make the salad.

******************************************

Erica Deborah Peterson Kinney slammed the front door shut as she let her best friend Abigail by, following her in. They could smell the mouth-watering food cooking all the way outside. The spices intensifying as the front door easily opened with her key. "Yo! I'm here!"

Still in her basketball uniform, Erica slipped off her coat, taking Abigail's jacket to hang up on the coat rack. She admired her young friend's trim frame in the cheerleader outfit. Made her drab unattractive uniform look sloppy.

"We're in the kitchen, Ricky!" The familiar sound of her older sister's voice echoed from inside the kitchen.

Erica waved her pretty blond ringlet-haired friend to move ahead of her. "Go ahead, Abby. I've gotta get this stench off me." She yelled back to her siblings in the kitchen. "I'm gonna go shower, Lee. Is Oliver with you?" Oliver came out with a wooden spoon full of sauce in the dip. "Oh, yeah... marinara! Cool!" She let her little brother feed her. She slurped at the red, spicy liquid. Hmm... it didn't taste like it usually did. "Who made this?"

Hayley stood at the entrance into the kitchen from the living room. "Gus."

Erica's demeanor picked up into a thousand lights. "Oh, no freak-..." Her sister gave her a *look*. The little kids were in earshot. "No way!"

Hayley held up her hands. "Yes way!" She steered Abigail and Oliver back to the table.

Erica looked about the house from the start of the stairs. "Where is he?" She felt like a good Gus bear hug today!

"He had to step out for a few minutes. He'll be back though."

"Oh." Erica sounded deflated. "Well, are we keeping supper for him? Or eating straight away?"

Hayley shrugged her shoulders. *Little Momma* was back. "Maybe. I was actually about to go wake up Dad."

Erica sighed heavily. "He's sleeping again?!?"

Hayley tried to show she couldn't do anything about that fact. Exhaustion was exhaustion. "Ricky..."

"You leavin' again?" Erica asked as a precaution. She needed to know how this night was gonna be.

"No. Gus asked me to stay."

"Oh. You'll *stay* for him, but NOT for Ollie and me?" Erica huffed up the stairs, wanting badly to reach her bedroom door to slam it, hard.

"Erica!" Hayley yelled after her little sister.

Something made Erica pause before she went into her bedroom.

Kat stood at the master bedroom door, growling low, under his panting.

"Hey, boy. W'as up?" Erica fell to her knees to listen at the paneling. She could barely hear anything, until she heard the loud retching sounds coming from inside.

Kat barked once, then growled under the slight opening at the bottom of the door.

Erica grew curious. She knocked before turning the knob. "Dad...?" She stepped in as she witnessed her father bolt off the bed, running into the master bathroom. "No! Daddy!" The lock was quickly turned. She pounded hard on the door. "Daddy! Let me in! Please!" She didn't know when the tears started. Her heart racing at what could be wrong. Her father could be moody, at times, but this was getting ridiculous. She ran back out into the hall, frantic with worry. "Hayley! Come quick! Please!" She stood, antsy, at the open master bedroom door.

"Comin'!" Hayley attempted to climb two steps at a time. "Man, what is wrong now, Ricky!? You scared Ollie and..." She saw the wet streaks down Erica's cheeks. "What? Is it Dad?" She bolted into the bedroom, catching sight of Kat barking at the bathroom door.

Erica tried to quickly wipe away her tears as quickly as they were falling. "He's locked himself inside. He won't let me in. He's scaring me, Lee!"

Hayley moved to bang on the bathroom door. "Dad?! It's Hayley! Let me in, Dad! Gus left to go do something. Said he'd back in... about and hour and a half. Please! You're scaring Erica... and uh, me! We love you... so much, Daddy. Just let us..."

The sound of the lock turned.

Hayley looked back at her sister hanging off her arm. She patted the fierce grip on her biceps. "Ready?"

Erica wiped at her cheeks again, hoping her father wouldn't see her looking so pathetically weepy. He didn't like seeing her in tears. "No!"

Hayley had to snicker at Erica's honesty. "Okay... remember we love him. No matter what. We may be walking in on something pretty gross, sweetie, but he's ours to take care of while Daddy's gone."

"Take the good with the bad, huh?" Erica simply stated, rubbing her face on her sister pretty blouse. "Let's go."

Hayley slowly creaked open the door.

They both stood, frightened on the threshold. They were sure they were gonna find their Dad strewn out on the floor, pale and passed out. They were shocked to find him sitting on the side of the tub, head tucked between his knees.

Brian lifted his head, muscle by muscle. His brain throbbing like the Dickens. "Shit! I'm sorry..." He tried to hide his shame in the hand towel he was using to dry his flushed face. "I've tried... so hard... to be brave..."

Hayley was the first to fall near Brian's feet. "You are... so brave. Your courage astounds me. Look at you, taking care of all us kids and two stupid pets." She took her balled up fist to rub over the skinny chest that used to be so muscular.

Kat growled from the bathroom door guard post he was holding.

Erica could only step so far into the bathroom. Scared about what was going on with Dad. "What's wrong, Daddy?" She sounded like a little girl.

Hayley could see Dad growing quiet, introspective. Beginning to shield himself from hurt and pain. "No! Don't do this! Don't sink back inside." She reached out to grab his t-shirt, like she was grabbing shirt lapels. "We can do this, Dad. We can get through whatever you have to say." She brushed back his wet hair from his forehead, kissing the moist, pale skin. "I promise we won't act like stupid girls, Dad. Who knows when Daddy's gonna come back."

Hazel eyes raised to look at Erica, "Come here, honey." Brian held out a shaking hand toward his daughter.

Tentatively, Erica walked toward the held out fingers. She gripped them, feeling the weak pull toward the closed toilet seat. She sat down, like he wanted. Erica envied the ease that Hayley had with their Dad. Feeling comfortable touching him. She wanted to, badly, but was afraid of how he might take the action. Her Kinney lineage made her frighteningly brave, sometimes. The hand he released, reached up to pet his cheek. "Daddy... I'm sorry I yelled at you this morning... and called you an *asshole*." She sniffed her tears back flabbergasted to feel the face press into her caress.

Hayley shuffled closer to huddle in Dad's embrace, his arm encircling her neck. She rested her head on his chest, hearing the strong heart beat within. "It's back, isn't it, Dad?"

Erica perked her brow up. "What's back?"

Hayley and Brian looked at one another, knowing this was the moment they needed to seize and become honest with Erica.

Brian yanked his daughter off the toilet seat, placing her on his lap. "Honey, there's something I need to talk to you about." He cleared his throat, glancing up at Hayley, his eyes intent. He brought their joined hands to his lips, gently kissing the surface. "I love you, too, Hay-bear. Don't you forget that!" He nodded his head once.

Hayley nodded her head in kind, understanding the long stare from Dad to tell her to leave them alone. She needed to head back downstairs to make sure Oliver and Abigail were alright. On her way out, she closed the doors, leaving them slightly open in case they needed her to come in again.

Kat went back to his guard duty outside the master bedroom door.

Hayley went to the other bathroom, off the hall, to do her own crying before she headed back down into the kitchen.

God, did she need her *best friend* even more now. Thank God Gus had come this weekend or else she'd be an emotional wreck.

*****************************************

Gus had thought he'd gotten the wrong gate number. But once he caught sight of Michael's salt-n-pepper hair, he began to tear up. Christ! This was gonna be awkward. There was really no reason he'd should feel like crying this much. His heart began to ache from the mere idea of seeing Michael with everything he had to tell him.

Michael was carrying a small bag over one shoulder and his laptop case on the other. His tan leather jacket looked crisp and crinkly. In well-worn jeans and a light blue button-down shirt. Pushing fifty looked good on Michael Novotny. He was aging well, too, trying to keep up with his life partner and best friend.

Gus slowed his pace down as he caught Michael trying to stand on his tippy-toes to see if he could spot a familiar face. He'd been so transfixed by seeing Michael, after the long month away, he didn't realize he looked as if he was hiding behind one of the pillars.

Michael glanced around the waiting room, suddenly sure he could feel hazel eyes on him. That's when he caught the gaze of a strikingly handsome, shaggy-haired young man who unmistakenly resembled Brian Kinney at eighteen. He saw the young man swallow with difficulty, his Adam's apple working hard in his throat. First, Michael covered his mouth and shut his eyes, unable to move.

Gus let the tears flow as he approached. "Don't worry, Michael. I feel like sobbing just like you do."

"Jesus! You're a sight for sore eyes, kid! I'm afraid to touch you. I never thought I'd get out of that fuckin' airport!" Michael hiccupped his sobs as he peeked beyond his closed lids. He slapped his hand over his eyes that refused to cooperate. "Take me home! Please. Before I embarrass you!" His voice spoke so softly, Gus could barely hear the tone.

"Too late, Michael. I think you need one of my trademark bear hugs."

"Oh, Christ!" Michael dropped his bags, holding open his arms for the show of purposeful shame. "Only one?!"

Gus ran up to lift the small man in his arms, spinning him around in his arms with simple glee. "Whoo-Hoo! Is so fuckin' cool to see you!"

Michael screeched in fright, suddenly feeling his feet lift off the ground. Good Lord! When had Gus gotten so strong! "No! No! Put me down! I refuse to be spun like a freakin' girl."

Gus chuckled as he plopped Michael down on his unsteady feet. "Settle for a kiss?"

"Sure... but no tongue." Michael reprimanded like the parent he never felt like he could be. His kids were too fun to be around and really interesting little people, becoming even more interesting grown-ups.

A few random eyes widened in shock.

Gus snickered as he hugged his precious bundle close to his chest. He inhaled the familiar scent that made him think of *home*. Fresh laundered clothes, Irish Spring soap and the musky spicy scent of his cologne. "I was standing here, watching you walk toward me... and I became speechless. I didn't know what to say to you. All I knew was that I felt this intense amount of love for you even more then the last time we were together. Why do you make me feel this way? Pop, too. I don't get this feeling with Mom or Melanie. Why is that, I wonder?"

Michael was speechless himself. Gus' emotional development impressed him more then anything dealing with academia. The Kinney Curse had been broken, ending with Jack. Though Erica did worry him a bit. He pulled away, picking up his bags, handing one to Gus. Gus refused to carry only one and took the other, too. "How's the family? I suppose everyone filled you in the minute you stepped in the door."

They began the trek toward the luggage area.

"Sort of. Oliver's still quiet. I asked Hayley to stay, though I think you might be able to persuade her better then I did, now that you're back. I had to leave before Erica came home, but she was bringing Abby with her, once the basketball game finished."

"Cynthia's daughter's a little cutie. I think she's got a crush on Ollie."

"Michael! Abby's three years older then him. What's he got that no other eleven year-old has?" Gus thought about it for a minute. "Maybe she likes the strong, silent type."

"Or maybe it's that Ollie likes to treat her like a lady. I swear he pulls out her chair every time she needs to sit, then comes back to pull it out when she has to get up. I don't know where he got those kind of manners. Certainly not from any of us men." Michael shook his head, not believing he was actually looking at Gus in the flesh. "I could fuckin' die right now. I'm so happy to be going home."

Gus got quiet. "Don't say that."

Michael thought this was a weird reaction for a slight tease. "I was kiddin', Gus." He put out a hand to rub over Gus' back. "What is it? What's wrong?"

They reached the luggage area, stopping at the baggage carousel.

Gus set down the bags in his hands, at his feet. "I think I might have discovered what's been eatin' at Pop."

"What?" Michael tried to look deeply into those hazel eyes, but Gus kept avoiding a full stare. He was too intent on looking for Michael's luggage.

"What do your bags look like?"

"Like the ones in your hands." Michael reached up to grab Gus' chin to force him to look into his eyes. "Gus, how bad can it b-...?"

The gathering tears were enough.

"No." Michael shook his head, refusing to believe that fate would try to take away the man of his dreams... again. His watering-chocolate brown eyes stared down at the marred flooring. "He told me it was a normal physical. A check up. Simply to see if things were okay." The tears fell. "He told me he was, Gus. He swore to me he was."

"I know. I know. Sssshh..." Gus wrapped an arm around Michael's neck pulling him close to his side, pressing a kiss to his perfectly combed hair. "I want to be so angry at him, but I can't."

Michael held onto Gus' jacket in the back, fearful he might faint. "I love him. I do. I can honestly admit to you in the middle of this godforsaken airport that I would die for him." He spoke into the material over Gus' shoulder, trying to shield his face from witnesses. He raised the watery eyes to Gus. "I can't lose him, now. He promised me forever and... that we'd die two old prickly bastards, somewhere in sunny Florida where old folks go to perish, rocking in our porch chairs and drinking nasty-ass Old Pitt beer, talking about our old loves who let us get away..."

"Well, that sure is something to look forward to." Gus teased, hugging Michael to his body, squeezing. "Ow!" Michael had tweaked his chest hair. "Sorry!"

"I know it sounds foolish and pathetic, but at least we'd be together. That's what's important."

"Message received." Drawing away from Michael, Gus pushed his way through the crowd at the carousel. "Excuse me! Emergency!" He snatched up Michael's two bags. "This it?!" At Michael curt nod, Gus motioned for them to move. "Then let's get you the hell home, Michael!!"

"I believe those are the most beautiful words I've ever heard in my whole entire life." Michael picked up his other bags, willing to run as fast as he could, bogged down with his things. "Aside from `I love you, Michael Charles Novotny' said to me nearly fifteen years ago on Valentine's Day." He held open the door for Gus to come through to head in the direction of the parking lot.

"Seriously. Exactly on Valentine's Day?"

"Well, give or take a few days."

"Urban legend." Gus couldn't believe that hands of fate could work that effortlessly. But then again, the world had made Brian Kinney and Michael Novotny fall in love.

Anything was possible... if you worked hard enough and remained strong. Or was it stubborn?

"Ask your father." Michael challenged as they raced toward Gus' parked car in the early evening hours.

"I will! No fair! Michael!" For a small man Michael could dodge cars left and right. Gus wondered if he had even told Michael what kind of car he drove. "Wait! Wait up! Michael!" He was chuckling while trying to keep up pace.

***************************************

"Hello, Family! Daddy's home!" Michael shouted for all ears to hear.

Erica shot up in bed, still tucked under Dad's arms. Michael! "Dad!" She shook him once. "Daddy!"

"Hmm... Erica, what is it?"

The widest smile appeared on her lips. "Daddy's home!" She wanted to squeal like she was hearing from downstairs.

"Oh, shit!" Brian fell back, throwing a pillow over his head. "Go ahead, honey. Smother me now before Michael sees me and rips me a new one."

Erica giggled, slapping Dad's biceps. "Don't be such a wuss! He loves you. You love him. We love you both. You love all of us kids. What more could you ask for?"

"The biopsy they took of my tumor to be malignant."

Erica stared at Dad's serious tone. "That wasn't funny."

"It wasn't supposed to be. Sorry the chemo meds make me kind of cranky."

"Really? I never noticed?"

"Hardy-har-har."

Erica leaned over to kiss Dad's lips. "Come on. You know you can't wait to see him. Get all lovey-dovey, smoochey-smoochey." She wiggled toward him, making kissy noises.

"What the hell do you know about THAT?!"

"Dad, please. I'm turning thirteen this year. I know all about my female problems, my potential boyfriend problems and my future children problems. I'm not some stupid girl who'll get a boy to trap her in some predicament. Boy's are freaks."

"I'm a boy."

"Nope. You're a man, Daddy. There's a difference. I'll teach you about it later. I don't know about you, but I need me some Michael Novotny Lovin'." Erica giggled as she crawled out of the huge king-sized bed, running out the door.

Kat followed her, barking up a storm.

Brian lay in bed, listening to the loud hum going on downstairs. He knew the tears would be plenty. He slowly got up, pushing off the covers.

The bedroom door creaked open.

Gus stood blocking out the dim light from the hallway. "I brought him home, Pop."

"Thank you." Brian bit his upper lip, tucking his hands in between his shaking knees. "How's he look?"

"Good. Better then I ever thought he could. You know you both are aging so perfectly. It's like time stopped, just allowing your hair colors to change. I don't even see one wrinkle line." Gus put down the bags on the end of the bed. He came around the bed post to look at his father intently, making sure he was alright. "I hear you had quite a scare earlier. A little tummy ache."

Brian patted his rock hard abs. "Yeah, the throwing up helped."

"So... Erica and Hayley know. When were you gonna tell me?" Gus put his hands on his hips. "And Michael?"

Brian shook his head. "I didn't want to bother..."

The bedroom door slammed shut. Michael flipped on all the lights. "Go ahead. I'd like to hear this excuse."

Brian couldn't even look at Michael as he walked around the bedroom in his line of sight. "Could we tone down the mood lighting and the melodrama?" He was blinking rapidly at the brightness. "I know you both are angry. Frustrated even."

"Oh..." Michael wiped a hand over his mouth. He didn't know how to feel. "We're beyond those feelings, aren't we, Gus?"

"Yeah. I think so."

Brian finally raised his weary hazel eyes to look at Michael and Gus. "You two plan on beating the shit outta me?"

Gus crossed his arms over his chest. "We thought about it, but we could only agree on kicking the *piss* out of you."

"No, Gus, I think we actually agreed more on pushing the love back into him. Wasn't THAT what we agreed on?" Michael stood his ground next to Gus' side

Brian tried to stand up, forgetting that he was slightly woozy still.

Both Michael and Gus were there to catch an arm a piece, before he fell.

Brian chuckled as he felt the strong arms of both men at his side. "Whoa! Last time I ride a horse without a saddle."

"Brian!" Michael was about ready to reprimand his lover, when those gorgeous hazel eyes stared down at him with such love. The tears welled in his own eyes. He tried to blink them out. "Don't look at me like that."

Gus began to slowly back away, closely observant of his two favorite men in his life.

Brian snickered out. Grateful that Michael had made it safely home. "Like what?"

"Like I'm a big juicy steak and you're a hungry lion." Michael wiped furiously at his eyes. "I AM upset with you." He didn't sound anywhere near it. "Well, I was... for about twenty seconds. I was able to be here the first time you had the test done. To think you felt you had to spare me the worry. Letting me go completely mad from missing you and the kids. All that time you were dealing with this... this enormous pressure of life against death. Your fuckin' pride infuriates me, but I love you for it. I know you didn't want me to fret and worry about you all those miles away, but Christ, Brian! Let me in on my life, once and awhile. Let me know I'm alive so I CAN help you through the tough times. I know what those meds do to you. I don't mind the *sickness* part of being with you. Hell, that's why I'm here. I love you, in good times and bad. Always have, always will." Michael had been making his impassioned speech with Brian's smirk working on his mouth. "Well, say something!" He pushed at Brian's chest.

"I'm sorry."

"That's it?!"

"I love you." Brian tried again.

Michael shook his head, trying to stem the need to laugh out loud. "Damn you, asshole!"

"Can I have my hug now?" Brian held up his arms for Michael to walk into.

Michael quietly obeyed, while mumbling. "Fuckin' prick!"

Gus released a chuckle he'd been holding back as he wiped at his own eyes.

Brian glanced over at Gus, looking lost and alone on the wall. He waved his oldest child on over. He situated Michael in his arms to make room for the young man who was towering over even him. He tucked his head in Gus' shoulder, wrapping an arm up under his back. "I'm sorry, Sonnyboy."

"Don't apologize to me. Just don't die on me, yet." Gus cleared his throat, pulling back to look at his father and Michael. "I need you to be My Best Man."

Brian's mouth gaped open, as did Michael's. "Gus... why are you here? Why did you come home this weekend? Of all weekends. Valentine's truly isn't a huge *family* holiday" He was curious about his son's need to come home. "It can't be just because you got dumped, was it?"

Michael inhaled a shocked breath. "Oh, Gus. Dumped near Valentine's. That's fucked!"

Gus looked at Brian, who simply raised a naughty eyebrow. He shook his head at how weird these two men could be with one another. Un-fuckin'-canny! "Yeah, so I've heard."

Brian let Gus go, as he seemed to need to draw away, wanting his own space. He used Michael to lean on. "Is it serious, Gus? Serious enough that you'd propose?"

"I don't know, Pop. Look at me." Gus held out his arms, showing his hands. "The mere idea of her in my head... and I get all jittery and nervous. I'm sweating in all the wrong places.

Brian and Michael chuckled, then stopped.

"He's so cute." Michael cooed.

"Adorable, Mikey. Gus-y-Poo's in L-O-V-E!" Brian teased his oldest son.

"I thought Mel and Mom were the lesbians?"

Michael couldn't help laughing. Brian wasn't so easily swayed.

Gus tucked his hands in his back pockets. "I came home to ask you two a question... but the second I got here, I think I may have had my answer already."

Michael was curious. "What was your question?" He could feel Brian growing more tired in his grip. So he eased them both down on the bed. He threw a leg over Brian's knees.

Gus wasn't even paying attention. He continued to pace like he was being chased. "I wanted to know what it feels like to fall in love. But not just falling in love, falling in love. Falling in love with your BEST FRIEND falling in love."

Brian looked over at Michael. "There's a difference?"

Michael shrugged, unsure. "Apparently. I wouldn't know. I've only fallen in love once."

"With your best friend!" Gus finished for Michael. "So you know what it feels like!"

"What about Ben and David?" Brian rubbed Michael's thigh, caressing the knee.

"I loved them, but... differently..." Michael looked at Gus.

"See! That's what I'm saying!" Gus was figuring this out all on his own. "So last Saturday I get this call. I meet with my girlfriend for dinner."

"Amanda?" Brian supplied the name Gus had let slip his mind.

"Yeah, whatever... but she's treating me to this nice dinner. To dump me. She's been seeing some other guy, while we were going out. I guess he had more *flash* then me."

"Bitch!" Brian muttered under his breath

"Brian!" Michael slapped at Brian's biceps. He then noticed the Captain Astro t-shirt on Brian's torso. "Where did you dig this artifact up?"

Brian winked, pressing his forehead near Michael's. "I dug around in your drawers."

"Oooo..." Michael giggled as he saw Brian's fingers creeping closer in between his thighs. He found a hole in one of the arm seams to play with.

"Hey!" Gus clapped his hands together.

"What?!" Brian and Michael swiveled their heads to face Gus.

"Can we focus on one thing in the next five minutes? The *one thing* being my personal dilemma? Is it possible for you two to keep your hands and fingers at your sides until I'm done venting?!"

Michael climbed off Brian, sitting innocently next to him. "Yeah, Brian! Please. Hose down will ya'! Our son has a legitimate dilemma to work through and he's here to ask us a question." His hands were itching to caress Brian with intense fervor.

Except as close as Brian was to Michael on the bed, they sank together meeting in the middle. Brian only had to turn his head a little to blow into Michael's ear.

Michael swatted near his ear. "Stop it!"

"Never!" Brian hissed out.

Gus went back to pacing and talking. "So then I forget that I had asked Bates to come over to watch this movie on cable. So I killed that tragic dinner date, heading home early and there's Bates, sitting outside, in the hallway, on my dorm room floor..."

Michael's interest was peeked. "Bates? Who's Bates?" Sounded awfully *male* to him. Did Gus have something ELSE to tell them?"

"Settle, Mikey. *Bates* is a girl. Frances Bates is her name. Right, Gus?"

Gus turned a sharp eye on his father. "How did you know?"

Brian thought Gus was looking at him with a certain amount of fault geared at him. "Know what?" He tried to hide behind Michael for protection.

Michael sucked in a breath, realizing what was happening. "Brian! Gus is in love with Frances!"

"Bates?!" Brian tried to recall what the girl looked like.

"I know, Pop. It's fuckin' driving me insane!"

Brian's furrowed his brow in puzzlement. "Why? Is she that god awful?"

"No. She's..."

Michael was looking at Brian as he said these words. "Perfect. For you." He could hear the similar tone in Gus' voice that had been in his own.

Brian finally allowed his eyes to lock onto Michael's. "And you were wondering if you've been in love with her all this time, not knowing it?"

"Exactly!" Gus leaned back on the wall behind him. "I kissed her."

Michael broke away from Brian's gaze, feeling him sink closer to his body warmth. "How did it make you feel?"

Gus finally wasn't spastic as he talked. "At first, nauseous..."

"That's good."

"Mikey, how can that be good?"

"Work with me, Kinney. Gus is getting somewhere." Michael's hand trailed over Brian's thigh toward his groin area. "And if we can solve Gus' problem, then that leave us all..."

Brian mouthed the word *alone* as he looked up at Gus. "So, Frankie made you sick to your stomach? What else?"

Michael laughed along with Gus.

"No, Pop. The opposite. It felt right. For the first time being with someone else felt like..." He was slightly ashamed of admitting this. He didn't want these two wonderful men to think he thought about them all the time, especially when he was with a girl... in bed... getting intimate. "Like I'm coming *home*. Being with Bates... uh, Frances has always made me comfortable. She's my best friend. My right hand man. Always there when I need her. Spots me money, a ride on her motorcycle when I'm stranded. She doesn't open up to most boys like she has with me. Something to do with her step dad. I've never bothered to ask specifics, but I've seen enough to know. She won't allow many men as close to her. I make her feel safe. And I kind of like that. I took pride in that. Someone feels that free with me, they'd let their guard down enough to feel something for me." Gus sighed heavily, as if drifting back to the very night he was talking about. "I kissed her and she gave into me. I don't know why she picked that night to respond. Maybe she was frustrated about some guy like I was about my ex-girlfriend. I'll never know. She won't talk to me. I didn't get very far, just put my hand up her shirt. I think I might have squeezed her breast. I can't remember. Then my roommates bust in the door. Interrupting us BIG TIME. And she ran away. Literally. She went back home for the weekend."

Michael couldn't help but look at Brian. "Sound familiar?"

Brian snickered, nodding his head. "Call her."

"But she doesn't want me to..."

"Gus, you came home for some advice... take it. Call her" Brian was able to stand on his own, swiftly moving toward his son. "She loves you, too. Don't allow what I did to Michael happen. Don't waste precious time. Life is too short. I promise you she's feeling just like you are tonight. If you want to wait until Valentine's Day, that's really sweet and sentimental. But if you truly love her as much as I think you do and you say you do... then fuckin' call her up right now and tell her. Screw what time it is! You need to know and she needs to know or you'll both live to regret it." He reached out a hand to clamp on Gus' shoulder. "You have my blessing, son."

Gus' hazel eyes shimmered with tears. "Thanks, Pop. I already knew what I had to do. I think I needed to hear it. Somehow it means more coming from you. You've gone through a lot in your past, so I know you'd be straightforward and honest if I was bullshitting myself." He locked his father in a fierce hug of deep admiration and love. "I love you, Pop." A hand went to caress the gaunt cheek. "I meant what I said before... you're the ONLY Best Man I know. I'm proud to be your son and would be even more proud to have you stand by my side on my wedding day. You know... whenever." He winked at his father, leaving the marriage prospect up in the air. He silenced his father with a kiss on the cheek, exiting quietly. He waved to Michael, lounging back on the bed.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" Brian scratched at his nose.

"Feel the need to sacrifice your soul for me? I could have told him the same thing, but been a bit more politically correct." Michael watched Brian approach, the feral look to his hazel eyes.

"Why? You've given up enough of yourself for me, in the beginning. It's time for me to pay up."

Michael put up a hand to hold Brian off. "This isn't a *pissing* contest, Brian. We have a functioning family and... I think, a pretty good partnership here. Fifty-fifty. All has been forgiven of what happened before WE became an US."

"Even when I still act like an asshole prick bastard?"

"Hey!" Michael moved his hands up to cup Brian's jaw as he settled between his open thighs, resting on his chest. "I fell in love with that asshole prick bastard all those years ago. I like seeing him sometimes."

"Really?" Brian quirked an eyebrow up in shock.

"Stress on the *sometimes*. But never... don't ever think that your health is something you can keep from me. I'm here for life, Kinney. I haven't gone anywhere before, when you've been sick... and I don't plan on going anywhere now that we know." Michael watched Brian shake his head. "We do, don't we?"

"Friday. I go for my follow-up on Friday. I'll get the biopsy results on Friday."

"I'd like to come with you. Is that okay?" Michael realized Brian wouldn't look him in the eye again. The gray flecked, mahogany hair hung in shame. "Brian... what's wrong?"

"I tried, Mikey." The sobs were set free. "I tried to be strong and brave for you. I suck at it!" Brian laughed at his own fallacies. "The one thing keeping me together was thinking of you... coming home. You're here, in my arms... just like my dreams and I'm feeling a bit... overwhelmed." He tucked his burning face in Michael's neck.

"Choked up?" Michael felt his own tears falling at Brian's soft confession. "Me, too. But I won't be doing THAT again. My *touring* days are over, unless you come with me. Justin missed you." He brushed the fingers of his right hand through the spiked hair on Brian's head. The sharp cut made Brian look very distinguished and polished.

"I missed you more." Brian picked up Michael's hand, resting their palms together, threading their fingers as one. "Happy Valentine's. Thank you for loving me... and never giving up or giving in. Even when I'm shitty to you."

"Happy Valentine's. Thank you for allowing me into your life and your heart. I know it wasn't easy."

"You're adorably persistent."

"What a nice way of saying I'm annoying."

Brian hefted his body off the bed, holding down a hand to Michael. "I saved my shower time just for you." He wiggled his fingers down for Michael to grab.

Michael latched on, allowing Brian to pull him up.

They knocked chests.

"I love you." Brian swooped in and stole Michael's next breath, locking lips with his partner for life. With a coy wink, he began to undress on his way into their bathroom.

Michael rubbed his hands together in giddy anticipation. "Damn you, Kinney. Promises... Promises..."

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~The End


End file.
